‘For your age’ seems to be the phrase I hear more often these days. I have to admit, reaching 60 was a huge milestone for me, I had grumpily threatened the family not to send any greetings cards as I certainly was not happy to concede that I had reached ‘that age’.
I asked Google to provide me with lots of self-help, self-meditation, self-esteem guides and any other ‘self’ stuff it could find. And yes, there are lots of self-help sites out there, all wanting to help you think, dress and be kind and positive about yourself. To embrace and overcome the myth and the stigma that associates itself with age, it all sounded so easy. I have to admit I began to find it all a little overwhelming, with so much information shouting at me what I should and shouldn’t be feeling, or listening to, I realised that unless you actually do like yourself, no advice in the world will make you believe any of what you read.
Reminiscing, I can remember thinking, upon reaching the grand age of 18, how anyone over 30 was ‘old’. Perhaps because my parents were quite old fashioned in their appearance and attitude and because I rebelled, as is so often the case when it comes to teenagers, I vowed I was never going to be like them, but I digress here, this discussion will be something for another time.
It wasn’t until in my 40’s, after some therapy and soul searching that I came to the decision that I actually did like me. During my late 20’s, early 30’s I threw myself into being a wife and mother, and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my children and have a wonderful hubby, but by immersing myself into those roles I never had to take ‘me’ seriously, never had to listen to ‘me’ and thought nobody else would want to, (hubby often wished he didn’t have to I’m sure) never having the time to get to know who I was and sadly having no idea of what I had actually achieved in my life. Woefully, now I feel those years have been lost to me, whereas I should have rejoiced and relished them.
So, this isn’t about me offering advice, its more about my trying to understand who I am and why I am. I would love for you to join me and share your thoughts.